Phobophobia

So it’s finally happened. That’s right, after like 4 months of thinking about it and putting it off for as long as I could - I blogged. No big deal right, so why the wait? Well this problem isn't new to me, its not even surprising. I’m sure most of you who read this can sympathize with the tendency to procrastinate; from writing papers to making a move in a relationship, I tend to put all sorts of stuff off. Why do I do this! It's such a thorn in my side - something I’ve been wrestling with since coming here to FGBC. I’m really beginning to wonder if procrastination in my case is the symptom of something deeper, something sinister. Fear. Are we afraid of the things we want the most?
God is awesome. One of the things that the Lord has been putting on my heart this year is to live my life with passion. I want to wake up each day with a hunger for life – to be utterly relentless in pursuit of Jesus. I want His blood to run through my veins, and love to emanate from my words and actions. I want to impact people’s lives – to change the world somehow. I’m not pretending to be unique here, what Christian doesn’t want this deep down? But yet there is something that causes us to hesitate, to question both ourselves and the God who we love. We could be reaching out, causing collisions, changing lives and being changed; but so often we find ourselves sinking into mediocrity.
During the summer, right before coming here for my 3rd year, I had a choice I had to make that would effect my course in life. I felt like God was showing a me a picture of how my life could be: Jesus stood across the room from me holding out his hand. In it, he held all the good things he wants to do to and through me. Every adventure, opportunity, relationship, every blessing and occasion he wants me to experience rested in the palm of his hand. As I sat there, I knew that I could do one of two things. I could remain sitting, with my eyes closed, paralyzed by fear, and numb with a false sense of safety. Or, I could open my eyes, stand, walk, and draw near to the one who would love to show me what life in abundance looks like.
Now, I don’t want to give the impression that once we choose to pursue Christ, he will make life pleasurable and easy. Quite the opposite in many ways. I know that following Christ means enduring suffering and hardship. But one thing I made the decision about years ago when I became a Christian was that I would rather walk through pain than sit around and not walk at all. Besides, I know that whatever he has in store, its infinitely better than letting it pass by.
If we knew the possibilities that rested on the other side of fear we would never question taking that step. Fear is like the 10 pound yappy poodle – its so small but you would rather go around than through it. There is a guy who I’m friends with who constantly pours into my life (usually unknowingly), and this summer he said something that resonates with me, “Craig I never swear, but if I had to say the F word it would be F*** fear.” That tells me something – pursuing Christ is so important that I need to get furious when something like fear gets in the way of it.
So this is the challenge: what are the yappy poodles in your life that keep you from the things you want and need the most? Whether it’s fear, sin, laziness, apathy, you name it - if it keeps us from standing up and reaching for Christ than we need to learn how to kick it in the teeth, look to the goal, and walk on.
It’s the only way we’ll get anywhere; and the destination is better than we know.